The thing is, where do we draw the line in "things we cannot change"? Are we supposed to stop complaining about design decisions of some software? About corrupt politics? The noisy neighbour?
Here's some guidelines to know if you should complain:
- If you heard someone else complaining about this, would it make you feel good?
- Will anyone else care?
- Does this need to be said? By me? Right now?
- Is this complaint creating positive change?
- Can I rephrase my complaint to address the issue positively?
Ideally, none of the things you listed should be complained about. Just stating your annoyance at a situation doesn't do anyone any good, and it's likely everyone else already knows about it, or doesn't care. Instead, try to address the problem at hand with a solution, or accept that you can't address it and move on.
Based on those guidelines, people wouldn't complain at all except few cases of complaining directly to the source of the subject at hand. It feels to me like something between promoting apathy and this: http://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-fuck
Most of the examples of complaints I can think of are situations we want to change but don't know how to, or don't want to face, or can't. So complaining becomes a really useless negative activity; in many ways it's counter-productive.
I've become an opponent of the phrase and mentality of "not giving a fuck". I would rather give a fuck, in a kind, compassionate way.
And yes, I think most people shouldn't complain, but if there is a complaint, it should definitely be to the source of the subject. Complaining to others is avoidance behavior. "Venting" can be useful sometimes, but without analyzing what the problem is, why it made you upset and how you can address it positively, it's useless.
And i'm definitely not promoting apathy. I'm promoting addressing and resolving conflict. Complaints tend to not be compassionate, caring or empathetic. We should be more of all of that.
