But is it real empathy? Did they actually pause and feel bad and convert their emotional response to some written message?

Or did they just short circuit. "Dead relative -> Say sorry for your loss". Like an AI bot.

It's the second one.

NotAnOtter smells like IsASkunk ... Why not just sit this one out instead of crushing the sentiment? I lost no mom in February and appreciate when people offer their condolences. And I'm this case, when I offer my condolences, I have at least some idea of what they're going through.

One of my younger brothers died a few weeks ago (he was 67; I'm 75). When people offer sympathy, I accept it and don't question their motives or involvement.