That’s great context. And I’m very sorry. I’m an optimist, but I’m also a realist, and, yeah, the delta between getting close to making it over and over and having that high of an expectation and then nothing coming to much fruition after so much work would make anyone discouraged.
It takes a ton of effort and courage to have hope in a situation like that. Because you will have to believe something is possible that you have no indication of being possible based on prior experience.
Or you will have to change your outlook to not care about massive financial success as much. But that’s not easy either since that requires a world view and possibly a values shift. Very very hard.
And yeah if I were stuck in that spot, I would feel cursed too and like the higher forces are fucked. It’s totally natural. I really hope for the best! I know you will be good in the end, but I’m sure that’s the last thing you really want to hear since it’s invalidating of how you’re feeling.
There are only two types of advice which I find useful nowadays: "The odds of success are extremely low, you need to keep rolling the dice." or "You need to find people who are willing to help you."
Everything else feels like gaslighting because I already tried so many things and clearly that was enough to sent me on an upward trajectory.
But definitely I do sometimes feel like there is a conspiracy because I know quite a few people who were not competent who succeeded... This seems to rule out the 'low probability' scenario. I feel like, in my case, there is an element of being rejected due to obscure 'human' factors that are beyond my understanding.
It takes a ton of effort and courage to have hope in a situation like that. Because you will have to believe something is possible that you have no indication of being possible based on prior experience.
Or you will have to change your outlook to not care about massive financial success as much. But that’s not easy either since that requires a world view and possibly a values shift. Very very hard.
And yeah if I were stuck in that spot, I would feel cursed too and like the higher forces are fucked. It’s totally natural. I really hope for the best! I know you will be good in the end, but I’m sure that’s the last thing you really want to hear since it’s invalidating of how you’re feeling.