Incidentally, I am building my own lighting controllers, largely because everything that is out there on the market sucks. Most importantly, I didn't want any "online accounts" for managing my devices, I didn't want to "agree to our privacy policy, your privacy is important" and then share all of my data with a company, and I didn't want anything that is Wi-Fi based.
I decided to go with Bluetooth Mesh and so far I'm really happy with how it is designed and how it works. It hasn't seen much adoption in the consumer space, being mostly used in industrial settings — indeed, its apparent complexity may seem baffling at first. But if you start with a good implementation (Zephyr OS on Nordic devices), it works very well.
I went with zigbee simply because there seems to be a ton of devices available, and while many vendors try to build devices that don't adhere to default messages so you'd have to use their gateways that talk to the cloud, zigbee is simple enough to reverse engineer the communication and add support in all the open source ha solutions.
I decided to go with Bluetooth Mesh and so far I'm really happy with how it is designed and how it works. It hasn't seen much adoption in the consumer space, being mostly used in industrial settings — indeed, its apparent complexity may seem baffling at first. But if you start with a good implementation (Zephyr OS on Nordic devices), it works very well.