You really hope the kids want to be in these as much as the parents do, otherwise what a terrible waste of money and effort getting your kids to do something they don't want to do.
I absolutely understand what you are saying... but if you let kids do what they want to do they'll sit around and play video games 16 hours a day. In times past, they'd likely be out working the farm. What do they do now? Consume media.
That's the excuse all lazy (as in unwilling to put in the effort to understand their kids) helicopter parents have for forcing their kids into things.
My desire to stay indoors and code/game all day was at its peak when that was my only option for socializing besides being dragged around on long drives to see places more interesting to my parents. The most I was allowed to do otherwise was going to the movies with vetted friends for high school graduation.
In comparison, for a few years (in another country) I had the freedom to go relatively far myself to hang out unsupervised with friends. The result was that I typically spent more time outside and participated of my own interest in all sorts of events (public speaking etc).
This also translated to other hobbies, when I had the freedom to choose my routine, I had all sorts of other hobbies like drawing, when this was taken away, all I ever focused on was instant gratification (or problems I could keep in my head) because I couldn't rely on being able to plan or prioritize my day. This did a lot of damage and I've only recently recovered nearly a decade later.
Now, if my parents had put aside the "kids just want to play games/watch TV all day" belief and paid attention to what I was trying to learn and what I was interested in, they might've saved me a lot of frustration AND helped my development by enrolling me in extra classes about the things I was interested in instead of the things they were interested in.
if you let kids do what they want to do they'll sit around and play video games 16 hours a day
These kind of comments always seem to say more about the writer than the subject. I loved computers and videogames growing up, I was the nerdiest kid in the class. But I also liked cycling, hiking in woods, reading, and a bunch of other things.
> I sat around and played videogames (namely PC) 16 hours a day and became pretty good at computers.
I feel like this was the normal track for my Internet friends and I in the 90s. We've sold two startups pursuing the dream of making video games - which of course that dream came from playing video games all the time as kids. Though I'm doubtful if that particular path will translate well today, or especially over the next decade. Maybe it didn't translate well from the 90s either, but sure feels like it did. (And now in our 40s we still haven't made a single video game!)
I'm also dubious as to whether competitive extracurricular activities will make a difference. This was the _thing_ in high school from guidance counselors - you must must must must be in a bunch of extracurricular activities so you can write them down on your college application or you will never get to attend a good college!
I have several friends who are middle aged and still get together and just chill and jam in the garage.
Not all of them played instruments in youth or had formal training. And if you have a bad experience you may not want to continue. I wouldn't hold that against anyone.
But it's not unheard of among band geeks to play in adult hood.
Ugh, on a related note, I'm a bad friend because I haven't kept in touch with them for a long time. Good fucking people.
