What always amuses me is the tendency of some people to "censor" out profanity (f* vs fuck and s* vs shit), as if by not actually typing the word, the writer could write about profanity and yet not be "sullied" by it, or something to that effect.
Seriously, loosen up. This almost puritanical aversion to profanity is unhealthy.
People are always offended for "other" people, I would be curious to hear the thoughts of a person who is truly offended by the word fuck. Does it have some magic powers that cause it to fire off a pain circuit in mutant brains?
Swear words are swear words because they actually are processed differently in your brain than regular propositional speech is. They're the linguistic counterpart of the emotional signals used by other social animals. The difference is that the sounds associated with our signalling systems are learned as part of language, rather than being hard-coded and instinctual. Hence, there's the possibility for different people to have their brains trained in different ways. So, for some people, the "f-word" may not have any ill effect, but don't deceive yourself thinking that there aren't people who really are hurt by it.
Since the psychological reaction is associated with the signal, not with whatever additional propositional meaning it might have in the language, referring to it by circumlocution really does have a point- it lets you talk about the words without risking triggering someone's reaction to the words.
It's not words themselves that matter. It's what people mean by them. Saying "please", vacuous as it might be, communicates consideration. Profanity communicates the opposite.
Of course, it isn't that simple; language is language and context is everything. Sometimes someone swearing at you means, "Some people would be offended by this, but I know you can take it." The inconsiderate language is a compliment. Sometimes it means, "We don't have time for social niceties; this is important." It's like pounding your fist on a table or slamming a door. But by itself, the meaning is closer to, "I don't care about you, because I just don't."
Profanity can certainly be used well, but without a redeeming purpose the vibe is somewhere between stupidity and rudeness. I find that offensive. Not as in, "I'm wounded", but as in, "that's unpleasant."
Some of it's cultural, too. One family may be big on courtesy -- always saying, "please pass the butter" at dinner. Just reaching across the table at that house would give a lot of offense because it violates how they show consideration to each other. In another house, everyone may just reach for everything all the time, and it doesn't mean anything.
Profanity is a lot like that. In some crowds, any uncensored profanity is highly offensive, a nine out of ten. In others, vocabulary alone can't push the needle past two, and you need to start in with creative graphic descriptions if you really mean to offend.
People have a couple of different reactions to that.
Some people, particularly the folks with a high pain threshold, just assume their culture is better. They swear a lot and the subtext is, "I don't care if you're offended because I think your culture sucks anyway." Hardly polite.
Other folks try to speak the language of the crowd they're in. If you say "X is sh*t" to a mixed group, some will hear "X is stinky socks" while others will hear "X is bestiality and I hate you." If you're pretty sure where on the spectrum your crowd falls, you can go ahead and use the expression. If it's mixed, though, you had best go ahead and use whichever of the two phrases it is you actually mean.
To you. By adopting this mindset, you give the word much more power than the speaker is (most likely) intending.
By all means it's your right to be offended and maintain your personal standards for such things, but don't mistake you being offended with someone else trying to offend.
Context is far more important than profanity. Saying 'please' in the right way can be highly offensive, depending on context.
Despite being 'the magic word', there's nothing magic about 'please'. It's just a word. It's the context it's used in that communicates consideration or not.
It almost does. I'm not offended by the word fuck, because English is not my native language. I have little emotional attachment to profanities of other languages, so they don't really affect me.
But there is one in my native language. It is not the equivalent of fuck, but something usually considered a milder swear word. I'm almost physically unable to say or type that word. If I try to force it out I get panicky and my chest starts to hurt. It is the strangest feeling and when added to that the fact that I'm completely aware how irrational and, well, stupid that is just increases the mental scuffle I'm going through.
I know exactly when I developed this. I was about 8 years old when one of my friends trashed something I had made and called me names. I went to home and complained to my mother what a twat this guy had been. I quoted what the guy called me and used the special word. My mother was visibly shocked, took a moment, and very calmly informed me how that was the worst word to say. And that's it. She didn't punish me or yell at me, just explained that there literally wasn't any worse word I could have uttered. According to her. And that hit me. I had done something bad that I, or anyone else, couldn't top. I hit peak profanity. I learned that reception from her and took it to heart and haven't used the word since.
Now, saying it out loud clearly is hard for me. But what about hearing it? Well I wouldn't use the word "offended". It is not your problem that I have this emotional connection to a certain word. If you didn't try to offend me with it I'm not offended. But I do go through a certain train of thoughts after hearing it. First I get a little shocked because I wasn't prepared for it. Then, because now my focus is on that word, I repeat it in my head as we all do with words we read or concentrate on (altough many 'speed-readers' say they can read without verbalizing words, this is not possible. You can limit it, but not turn it off completely). And verbalizing the word in my head causes a similar reaction, but milder, as saying it does. For a second I can't concentrate on what you are saying because there's something going between my ears and I need a second to calm it down. And after that it is still nimbling in my thoughts for some while before I forget it.
It IS kinda like when someone insults me. First you get shocked when someone really stabs you, then you get various emotions like anger, frustration, feelings for vengeance, sadness, and what not. Then you calm down but the memory of the feelings is still there for a while. Then you forget it and move on. It is the same thing with me and hearing that word, except I don't feed offended and I have nothing against you. I have something against myself and that is not a pleasant state of mental affairs.
If you are trying to present something to me or lecture me about some subject, I don't think that is the reaction you are looking for.
edit: oh and it isn't anything religious as me and my mother are both atheists. The f-word in my language means vagina and this word is the male counterpart.
I used to work for a company with an internet content filter. I'd search for a topic, see a promising link, and bam! the content filter blocked the page for profanity. I try to limit / self-censor my profanity in deference to the working stiffs of the world stuck in that situation.
Seriously, loosen up. This almost puritanical aversion to profanity is unhealthy.