>because (apparently) this style of parenting is common.
It is not common. Every Chinese mother I know (that would be quite a few) found the Amy Chua article to be repulsive. Just like the American moms did, except that they knew people would equate them with Chua's ideas so it makes them even angrier. My own wife (a Chinese mom) and her friends and relatives have been circulating the Chua article and talking about it and the consensus is a universal "WTF is wrong with this woman?!"
Then you read that the Wall Street Journal article was, at least to a certain extent, not representative of the actual tone of the book and you realize that this piece, so disliked by real Chinese mothers is an exaggeration of the whole phenomenon.
People like the mom in this linked article are responding to an exaggeration of a caricature (and should be aware of this, though, from their own defensive and annoyed tone I suspect are not) and it strikes a chord because people are too sensitive to perceived criticism of things that matter deeply to their psyches... like the job they do raising their kids.
So the WSJ takes an extreme point of view, exaggerates it to fit a caricature of a certain racial stereotype, people get annoyed at this mostly made up thing and start reacting angrily and the WSJ and those involved in the book make money off of the whole mess. Shameful.
Every Chinese mother I know (that would be quite a few) found the Amy Chua article to be repulsive.
The is an old saying that we most hate in others what we most hate in ourselves.
A number of Chinese friends of mine say that they recognized Amy Chua's description, it is how they were raised. So certainly some out there fit the description. Whether or not they think they do.
...and it strikes a chord because people are too sensitive to perceived criticism of things that matter deeply to their psyches...
Really? Asian Moms aren't like that? Anecdotally, let me assure you that my son's high school is full of them. All but one of the best musicians are Asian. All the best mathematicians are Asian. These young folks have little life outside of lessons and competitions.
All those 'quite a few' Chinese mothers you know, you said were repulsed. But how many of them fit the description?
As extreme as Chua is in the article? No. They are certainly strict especially when compared to the stereotypical "white" mother, but not like Chua.
I have to admit, most (not all) of the Chinese moms I know are rather more liberal and open-minded about child rearing. Still much more grade/achievement focused than most American moms I know, but not as extreme as this Chua woman. I mean, even the more strict Chinese moms in my social circles wouldn't prevent their kids from attending sleep overs, as one example. Yes the kids study a lot (and do test prep plus attend Chinese school on weekends) and play an instrument (with much longer practice times than one might expect) and would be chewed out for anything less than an A (A- for the easy going moms) but still... not as draconian and goal oriented as Chua is portrayed the article.
With one mom in particular, who is one of the more disgusted with this article (she called the other day and we spent a good half hour talking about the WSJ article), I know her sons consider her a pretty typical "chinese mother", and probably moan about her to their friends (I'm their uncle/godparent, btw), and while she is strict and expects a lot she is still nothing as bad as the caricature in that article.
Well, I'll counter your anecdotal Chinese mothers with mine. I didn't get to do sleepovers, ever, and my parents drove over to pick me up from school if they thought I was spending too much time on extracurriculars and not working on math homework. It was pretty fucking humiliating.
Anecdotal means "Not necessarily true or reliable, because based on personal accounts rather than facts or research" so the claim that it his mother is, itself, anecdotal.
Kind of inherent in casual, internet conversation... hard to avoid.
Hm. Pedantically, his experience with his mother isn't Based on personal accounts, it is his personal experience. So to him anyway it wasn't anecdotal. But to everybody else, sure. Like all reported empirical evidence.
It is not common. Every Chinese mother I know (that would be quite a few) found the Amy Chua article to be repulsive. Just like the American moms did, except that they knew people would equate them with Chua's ideas so it makes them even angrier. My own wife (a Chinese mom) and her friends and relatives have been circulating the Chua article and talking about it and the consensus is a universal "WTF is wrong with this woman?!"
Then you read that the Wall Street Journal article was, at least to a certain extent, not representative of the actual tone of the book and you realize that this piece, so disliked by real Chinese mothers is an exaggeration of the whole phenomenon.
People like the mom in this linked article are responding to an exaggeration of a caricature (and should be aware of this, though, from their own defensive and annoyed tone I suspect are not) and it strikes a chord because people are too sensitive to perceived criticism of things that matter deeply to their psyches... like the job they do raising their kids.
So the WSJ takes an extreme point of view, exaggerates it to fit a caricature of a certain racial stereotype, people get annoyed at this mostly made up thing and start reacting angrily and the WSJ and those involved in the book make money off of the whole mess. Shameful.