So, if I own a corporation that buys an asset for $500,000, then I turn around and sell the corporation for $10,000,000, I'm in some kind of hot water?

Depends. If the asset is digital, you can register the corporation in a tax haven through a offshore broker (Cayman, Panama, or St. Kitts), acquire the asset and then turn around and sell the corporation.

You can always "sell a corporation." It is not necessary to go to a tax haven.

I think you missed my point, which was that if I own a corporation and it buys an asset, then I sell that corporation, are these things tied together?

If the corporation simply found a deal, then the owners of the corporation chose to sell, why would the corporation (or owners) get hit with a gain on asset (purchased by corporation) tax? The shareholders should be taxed as normal gain on assets (shares) and it should not be reflected in the taxes paid by the corporation, unless I am missing something.

Why don't US companies just employ a 'double Irish' on all their IP?

Edit: I mean from inception/company formation. Wouldn't that save you all the aforementioned headaches? Especially when the time comes for an exit to happen.