I'm not offended. I know nothing about your situation specifically, but I understand that you just want to help her. Common advice given to my parents were to give up, there's nothing you can do, but they never did give up and I'm very thankful for that. I never went to prison, but I've met many who did.
Maybe with a good facility it could be helpful, but most prisons are horrible environments with easy access to drugs. Addicts also die in prison, but maybe more common after being released for the difference in tolerance. Many are rejoining society with a massive prison drug debt, continuing the cycle.
Sending her to jail, depending on how it plays out, may disqualify her from student financial aid, government jobs, pretty much any job with an element of trust involved, housing, foreign travel. To keep her alive, you burn many bridges that could have led to a life worth living. More likely than death, jail is what will eventually happen on its own if you fail to help her, and then she will carry that stigma forever (on top of being an addict).
I have no love of the American penal system or the drug war. That said:
A) You're right about the Draconian consequences of a jail sentence, and you also forgot to include the loss of her right to vote. However, I'd also like to point out that death will similarly disqualify his sister from student financial aid, government jobs, pretty much any job with an element of trust involved, housing, foreign travel. It might also disqualify her from voting, though there's always some reports each election cycle to the contrary.
B) My brother in law did go to prison for a useless drug offence that was a complete waste of everyone's time, thought it did make the police departments numbers look a bit better in their annual report. All of those bridges that you spoke of have been burned for him. As I understood your argument, you believe that his life is no longer worth living? Should I go ahead and euthanise him while I'm in town next Thanksgiving?
I hate the prison system. I hate the drug war. They are both broken on every level and future generations will judge us for how vilely we've handled this situation. However, I also have the perspective to know that there are people for whom there are worse fates than a life with a felony conviction on her record. They aren't common, and my brother in law wasn't one of them, but I accept the possibility that kilroy's sister might be one. It's certainly unlikely, but it's possible, and kilroy know the facts in the case better than I do.
Hmm, it sounds like you're disagreeing, but I basically agree with everything you said.
> As I understood your argument, you believe that his life is no longer worth living? Should I go ahead and euthanise him while I'm in town next Thanksgiving?
That's not up to you or me. You'll have to ask him. Or just observe whether he seems to have found his spark among the options that are still available. I'm definitely not saying a criminal record makes it impossible to find and pursue a passion in life - only that when someone is in a self-destructive pattern, "helping" by dishing out punishment and cutting off avenues of growth is not sensible at all. Now occasionally someone is literally on the verge of suicide, and confinement might get them through it, but it's only borrowed time if they'll be in a worse place after release.
Not dying is orders of magnitude more important than keeping eligible for student loans or government jobs you could theoretically someday get.
Also if an addict's perception of a life 'worth living' depends on external things, like yours does, the addict is highly likely to just go back to addiction anyway. Life is worth living without student loans or government jobs or travelling -- or similarly, drugs -- and much of overcoming addiction is learning to recognize that.
haha kilroy, you can't say "No offense" and then proceed with "you don't know what the fuck you are talking about" obviously offense was intended, literally how could you express the idea that someone hasn't considered all possibilities in a more offensive way?
Honestly, I understand his frustration. People will tell you that you're wrong, that you're heartless, etc. when you express that you'd like it if one of your family members went to jail. Like you don't care about them and haven't considered the potential consequences of such a serious thing. I know multiple people who have gotten clean in jail. And I know that for at least a few, they were a serious threat to themselves and others.
Attitudes like the gps are not always right, but are pretty much the only opinions I hear expressed.
